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Attending parties at clubs or even toasting a celebration may not be an option for your potential partner, which means that in order to be supportive, you may need to bow out early or bow out completely as well. Are you prepared to do that? Addiction can be the impetus for people doing some pretty horrible things — things that they likely would not have done otherwise. In order to be in a relationship with anyone, you will always be more successful if you know yourself well, respect yourself, and are willing to prioritize your health and emotional wellness about all else.

This is especially important when you are considering taking on a relationship with a former addict or alcoholic.

When Two (Recovering) Addicts Fall in Love | The Mighty

There is a tendency for people in recovery to create codependent relationships, which can be damaging for both people. However, if you are independent and have boundaries that you can and will maintain — and your potential partner is equally strong — then this could be a functional as well as a happy relationship.

Choosing to get involved with someone who has an addiction history is a big decision. The best advice is to keep your eyes open, be as honest with yourself and your potential partner as possible, and take your time. Mental Health First Aid. Don't wait another day. Help is a phone call away.

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Date someone with similar values. Recognize the signs of a potential dysfunctional relationship. Actively involved in therapy: Therapy allows for self-discovery, and the therapeutic environment can help the individual learn to develop meaningful relationships with others. Always honest about recovery: Be honest about the fact that a person is in recovery from the very beginning. If another person cannot accept that, then they are not worth dating.

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  • Moving slowly in the relationship: Do not move too quickly or be in a hurry to get serious. Not dating people from recovery groups, therapy groups, or work: This is a rule that applies across many different situations, and many individuals make it a point not to date individuals with whom they frequently associate, such as colleagues at work, people who go to the same church, etc. Individuals in recovery should extend this to include individuals who attend the same therapy groups, support groups, peer groups, etc. Romantic relationships with these individuals can result in serious complications and much unwanted stress.

    In all areas, remember that sobriety comes first. Do not compromise your sobriety for any reason. Make sure to avoid triggers that can lead to relapse.

    Dating After Addiction

    Not afraid to ask for advice: Whenever an individual is new to recovery, it is important to remember that they will often need to get advice from sponsors, therapists, and peers in recovery. They can also get advice from family members and friends on issues related to dating and romance.

    Further Reading

    After my initial thoughts about my late friend, I wondered about us — about Alex and I. The truth is, I have none, and neither does he. This experience made us both cautious, and suddenly the warnings of my therapist were ringing in my head. Not only of the possibility of him relapsing — but of myself relapsing. Early recovery is about learning how to love yourself, and part of that is protecting yourself from things that may trigger you to use. That means not going around people that are bad influences, that means not taking on too many hours at work or school, and most importantly, not subjecting yourself to unnecessarily negative emotions — which is exactly what a relationship has the potential to do.

    I imagined us breaking up, and I winced at the thought. So basically, I said all relationships are doomed and so are we. I was overthinking and I was stressing myself out. We agreed to take things slowly, but first he told me he had to tell me something. Oh god , I thought. It was one night. There are no good or bad relapses, but assuming he was telling the truth, I said OK.

    8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery

    Trust is not an easy thing to give nor earn, but we did both. We had faith in our ourselves and our relationship, and it worked out.

    Since then, we have both been sober — me for almost two years, him for over one. More importantly, we have both been happy and healthy. The first year of sobriety was extremely difficult — with friends dying and overdosing and relapsing all around us — and I consider myself lucky to have a best friend by my side who I can count on.

    Why Is It Best to Wait to Date?